About us Bartesian
I Tried the Bartesian, a Bartending Machine That Makes Drinks in Seconds
What do James Bond, Carrie Bradshaw, and The Dude have in common? They all have a signature drink. There’s nothing quite like that first sip of your favorite cocktail, but it makes you wonder—wouldn’t it be amazing to have a machine that whipped up your drink of choice at the touch of a futuristic button? After all, if you’re aspiring to write the great American novel, pen New York’s spiciest sex and relationship column, or bowl a perfect 300, you can’t be sitting around making drinks all day. Well, that’s where the Bartesian cocktail maker comes in.
There’s no denying that the Bartesian cocktail maker is a wildly intriguing gadget. Released in 2019, it was designed by former bartender Ryan Close, and is the the world’s first single-serve cocktail machine that is pod-based, meaning it’s basically a Keurig for cocktails.
Here’s how it works: You keep a reservoir of five spirits of your choice in vessels that make the whole thing look like a rig from Breaking Bad, and when you’re ready to turn up, you insert a cocktail capsule (an internal scanning system tells the machine which capsule is inside so it knows what to add), decide how strong you want the drink, hit “mix,” and voila, you’re on your way to Lit Town, USA. While the Bartesian isn’t popping out Last Words or Jungle Birds (yet), it can whip up a wide array of classics, including Sazeracs, Negronis, mint juleps, and screwdrivers, as well as college-bar regulars like Long Islands and Sex on the Beach and even higher-end picks like Paper Planes and Mai Tais.
Since its release in 2019, the machine has been hyped by everyone from Oprah, who named it one of her “Favorite Things,” to the Consumer Electronics Show, which offered the invention an Innovation Award in 2020. On Amazon, it has a rating of 4.7 out of 5 stars from more than 1,850 reviews. So as a somewhat savvy home bartender, I was excited to try the Bartesian for myself.
Overview us Bartesian
The quality of the Bartesian’s drinks is up to you, and pretty much depends on whatever liquor you decide to load it up with. (The brand recommends adding whiskey, tequila, vodka, rum, and gin to the included glass bottles for the widest variety of cocktail options.) If you’re inclined to use the bottom-shelf stuff, you can certainly do that; however, if you like your old fashioned with Bulleit or your Aviation with Nolet’s, you can make that happen, too. If you want a screwdriver with Grey Goose, the world is your oyster. And of course, adding garnishes or fresh elements will also elevate the whole experience.
When I received my Bartesian and put it to the test, I was surprised to find that some of the cocktails were not only passable, but good. The whiskey sour was a little sweet, but tasted punchy and pleasant—it was at least the quality you’d find at a chain restaurant, which is absolutely fine in this house. (And if you’re the kind of person who hates The Cheesecake Factory or California Pizza Kitchen, I don’t want to have a drink with you, anyway.) My girlfriend, who makes the best Boulevardier i’ve ever had, tried the whiskey sour and said, and I quote, “It’s so much better than I thought it was going to be”—and she’s a tough judge. To ensure that it packed that punch of fresh citrus, we simply added a squeeze of lime. The sour and a round of margaritas paired just fine with the vegan nachos we made for dinner that night.
Lemon drop capsules
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The Lemon Drop is as tasty as its candy namesake but with the added bonus of vodka. This sweet and sour lemon cocktail is perfectly complemented with a sugar rim and lemon for a delicious dessert cocktail. Base spirit: Vodka.
Margarita capsules
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The Margarita is a classic, refreshing blend of tequila, lemon, and lime for a sweet and sour citrus experience. A salted rim perfectly complements the citrus of the fruits. Pairs perfectly with our Stemless Margarita glassware. Base spirit: Tequila.
Capsule drawer
Store your cocktails in style! The Bartesian Capsule Storage Drawer is the perfect complement to your bar or kitchen counter. Designed with tempered glass and storing up to 36 individual cocktail capsules, you’ll love this sleek addition to your Bartesian experience. Packaging is wrapped tightly for shipping, so take care when unwrapping around the foot pads. Limit of 15 per household.
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Classic collection variety pack
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Classic collection variety pack
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Our classics all together. Our 6-pack contains 1 each of: Whiskey Sour, Long Island Iced Tea, Margarita, Cosmopolitan, Uptown Rocks, and Old Fashioned. Our 36-pack contains 6 each of: Whiskey Sour, Long Island Iced Tea, Margarita, Cosmopolitan, Uptown Rocks, and Old Fashioned. Long Island Iced Tea not compatible with the Bartesian Duet 2-bottle machine.
Yuletide hurricane capsules
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When the weather outside is frightful, choose the Yuletide Hurricane to keep your glass delightful. It’s the fruity, tropical flavor you happily expect, with a shimmery, holiday twist. Serve over ice and garnish with a cherry and orange wedge. Base spirit: Rum.
Red hot cinnamon rimming sugar
Give your cocktails a red hot sizzle with this sugar rimmer. The sweet cinnamon flavor and fiery red hue pair perfectly with Festive Rum Punch, Spiked Candy Apple, Lemon Drop, and other dessert cocktails.
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The bartesian cocktail maker
With the Bartesian cocktail maker, you can experience the quality ingredients & premium pours you’d expect from a cocktail lounge in your own home – all at the touch of a button.
Fill the Bartesian cocktail maker with your favorite brands of: Vodka, Tequila, Whiskey, Gin or Rum, as well as water. Then, insert your desired Bartesian capsules, which contains all the premium bitters, extracts, juice concentrates, and mixers that would otherwise need to be individually sourced, purchased, and stored. Once the Bartesian capsule is inserted into your Bartesian cocktail machine, the cocktail is immediately identified via barcode and suggests the proper glassware on the user interface touchscreen.
The Bartesian cocktail machine lets you customize the pour strength of the drink ranging from mocktail to strong, then simply press ‘Mix’!
Now you can be an at-home mixologist with the Bartesian cocktail maker.
What’s In The Box: 1 Bartesian premium cocktail maker, 5 Glass spirit bottles (26oz) with labeled lids (Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, Gin, Tequila), 1 Removable power cord, 1 Removable Bartesian bar mat. Cocktail capsules are sold separately.
Care: Wash with damp cloth, materials dishwasher safe
Holiday Promotion: For a limited time while supplies last, get an 8-pack of Apple Pie cocktail capsules free with your Bartesian purchase, along with free shipping to receive your Bartesian by 12/24. Promotion automatically applied when you add Apple Pie cocktail capsules to your cart.
